I have chosen to live parts my life on the fringes of what many find acceptable or desirable, offering my time, my sexuality and my affection in exchange for a fee. I’ve also chosen to have a successful career, normal friendships and relationships with my family. I’ve never felt the need to choose between one or the other, and, why should I? I don’t need to be a latex-drenched seductress solely, nor do I need to be a corporate businesswoman solely. Most of the time, I am neither of those because people just aren’t that simple.
Now most of you will be thinking, yes obviously, now tell us something we don’t know. We already agree that you can work as a companion and have other endeavours. We humans are not one-dimensional, we are complex and impossible to narrow down.
Yet, even with those two contrasting and often contradictory sides of my life in plain view, many of you struggle when it comes to understanding my sexuality, especially when it comes to my love of BDSM and romantic, affectionate girlfriend experience. So, I want to try and explain my position and reassure those of you who want snuggly, affectionate dates that I still, and always will, adore you.
I personally think that being bisexual opened my mind to a darker remit of sex because shame and secrecy was always so inherent to my sexuality. I’ve never not played with power dynamics, it’s always been there. When I was with my first boyfriend of around two-and-a-half years at 21 we’d put each other in leather collars and leads and have sex in front of a huge mirror at every opportunity.
Since becoming Olivia I have delved deeper into BDSM exploring very specific kinks, role-play and indulging a very different side of myself than one I ever explored in romantic relationships. I tend to write a lot about this on my blog because it’s sexy, it’s exciting and a newer space for me. But, in the lines it seems that I’ve failed to write let me say this; I get a very different release from using someone for pleasure while they call me Mistress than I do from a delicious, warm bear hug from someone who makes me feel completely safe and cared for. There are lots of different types of clients, some provide sexual exploration allowing me to see how far I want to push myself or them, others offer true friendship. I don’t feel the need to choose one over the other. Just because I post images of me in delicious latex outfits or leather boots, it doesn’t mean I don’t still adorn myself in lace and silk.
Equally, just because we’ve indulged in kink, that doesn’t mean we can’t be soft with one another. I know some people want the power dynamic to be upheld throughout dinner and while lounging afterwards. For others though, BDSM is just a section of the date, we can go back to being our complicated, cuddly selves afterwards, if we want to.
Just as I will always be bisexual, and an escort who ran a corporate business; I am also someone who loves affection and intimacy as much as I enjoy turning CEO’s into piggies.